everything i say is an illusion of the truth
Monday, September 18, 2006
Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to wake up without fear. What it feels like to not always have nervous butterflies in your stomach when go to have a look at yourself in the mirror. I'm in awe of people who don't have to worry about their complexion.
I think that is why I am such a celebrity whore. The life they project is fascinating.
Me? I'm an OCD mess. I wake up every morning in fear. My stomach always drops to my feet when I go to look in the mirror. I don't understand what it means to not worry...about everything and anything. I know that the celebrity life is all fake, don't misunderstand the statements above. I don't want that life...just some of the beauty it possesses.
It's a perfect fantasy I wouldn't mind feeling for a day...that's all. It's the illusion of beauty and being so carefree that I wouldn't mind encompassing for a day. But just a day. There isn't anybody else in the entire world who I would rather be then me. I just need to learn to let go of the small stuff and keep the bigger picture in mind.
And speaking of my own dear reflection...the lips are almost completely better. Still a bit off color, but nowhere near like they were a few weeks ago. I'm happy with the progress.
Oh, and I have decided to give myself four weeks to lose 7lbs.
Piece of cake.
I think that is why I am such a celebrity whore. The life they project is fascinating.
Me? I'm an OCD mess. I wake up every morning in fear. My stomach always drops to my feet when I go to look in the mirror. I don't understand what it means to not worry...about everything and anything. I know that the celebrity life is all fake, don't misunderstand the statements above. I don't want that life...just some of the beauty it possesses.
It's a perfect fantasy I wouldn't mind feeling for a day...that's all. It's the illusion of beauty and being so carefree that I wouldn't mind encompassing for a day. But just a day. There isn't anybody else in the entire world who I would rather be then me. I just need to learn to let go of the small stuff and keep the bigger picture in mind.
And speaking of my own dear reflection...the lips are almost completely better. Still a bit off color, but nowhere near like they were a few weeks ago. I'm happy with the progress.
Oh, and I have decided to give myself four weeks to lose 7lbs.
Piece of cake.
simply do not ask me what this is all about, parce que je ne sais pas, mes chers
posted by jennifer at 5:45 PM
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